It’s a powerful word. The act, state, or right of possessing something…
Do you own your actions? Do you own your day? Do you own your life?
Accountability is paramount. Personal sovereignty, self-governance, autonomy, all matter so much at this pivotal time in history.
You can actively choose to make the decisions that are best for you, your children, your family, and also for the greater good. Do you own your shit or shuck it onto someone else playing the blame game or acting like a victim?
Now take it to the next level….
Here’s a daunting question: Do you own your parenting?
Do you seize Personal Ownership so that you can command Parental Ownership?
Bringing up a new generation unlike any the world has seen prior will take both Personal Ownership and Parental Ownership. So lets break this new term I’ve coined down so that we can fully comprehend it.
A parent is defined as one who has procreated offspring, a father or mother. Parent defined as a verb means to be or act as a mother or father to someone.
Being a parent is clearly not enough to inspire the next generation or instill morals.
Parent therefore, cannot be merely a position or title. It must be an action and an example.
Parental Ownership is not about militant parenting. I don’t expect my children to be perfect, nor do I expect them to be little clones of me. Parental Ownership is an awareness that the way we lead our lives is the way our children will lead their lives. We have a duty and a real call to action to be more intentional in our thoughts, actions, and words because they are always watching. There is freedom within this constant nudging though, to allow them to blossom into the best version of themselves. Isn’t that our ultimate goal? The ability to lead by example, while guiding our kids on their own path, is the pinnacle of parenting.
You are your child’s number one role model. What are you modeling? What are you saying when you aren’t saying anything at all?
- What message is a child receiving from a parent who disciplines physically, yet has no tolerance for a child hitting a sibling?
- If you yell constantly at your partner, how do you ever expect your children to communicate calmly?
- Are you modeling good health? Don’t think for one minute your children don’t notice YOU aren’t eating YOUR vegetables. (Junk food sneaker!)
- Do you lead a life of order and serenity or is your world chaotic and stressful? And you wonder why your child has behavior issues?
If your child is overweight, rude, disrespectful, unkind, etc. the first step in course correction is recognizing your deficiencies and correcting them. Simply owning you are responsible—not peers, not media, not bad genetics, blah, blah, blah—You! It is solely your responsibility as a parent to be a good example. Other people will certainly influence our children, but none more thoroughly as you will. It’s not about perfection; we all know that is a fallacy. It is about doing the right thing the majority of the time and the times we do mess up, owning it. Parental Ownership!
We must serve as pillars of kindness, love, and tolerance if we ever hope to see a more peaceful future. We must educate ourselves and stand up for our own personal freedoms so that our children continue to champion for theirs. We must display healthful behaviors if we want radiant children.
We often look at others who have accomplished great things and think that talent or abilities greater than we ourselves possess is what got them there.
The truth is, that those very people have gone through their share of ups and downs, just like us. Their ability to do great things came down to perseverance and passion.
Passion and good habits take time to cultivate. We are all evolving and coming into higher versions of ourselves. I personally aim for growth, not perfection. (I once forced my kids to watch a video of starving children in Africa when they went on a streak of refusing to eat the amazing organic food I’d been preparing. Let’s suffice it to say, that parenting faux pas is not going on my parenting highlight reel!) When I screw up, I sit my kids down and discuss it. (I apologized for said video by the way! I wiped away their tears and followed it up with a great talk about not wasting food. We got to have an honest talk about how fortunate and blessed we truly are.)
The ups and downs of life and how we handle them are our children’s most valued teachers.
“What you do has far greater impact than what you say.” ~ Stephen Covey
Parental Ownership- it’s time we own our shit! What is your legacy? Who will your children remember you as? Share your personal anecdotes in the comments below; I’d love to hear about them! If you haven’t read my first blog post yet, click to read about my mission.